10 Women, 10 warm moments…

In life there are many moments that just happen like the changing seasons, some are warm some are cold, and some are like the falling leaves off from the trees, and some beautiful like the glowing flowers. How many moments can a mind store well countless, But I remind myself of those 10 women I have been with, those ten moments in every one of those moments I felt the seasons of a year, a diversion in my life some lessons learnt well, some taught some now are friends and some gone far not sure where…

The journey begins when I was in High school, every one of my friends talking about girls and every one was like check that chick out, and sitting in a corner and thinking of whats happening around and paying very close attention to every action my mates were making, mean while I was made a joke out of my this action of noticing what my mates were doing some were like Gurus ( teachers ) like they knew everything, but the fact was clear we were all of the same age maybe some were little to smart and some were little less smart, but every one was thinking of wanting the Hottest chick in the High school, well I could not get the trophy in my high school years, well right after I finished high school, I shared this issue with my Uncle, and well he made a contact for me with one of his friends friend, well my Uncle was kinda very play boy type of guy, I thought he be the best person to reach at that point of my life, so I got hang out with a girl, the very first girl in my Life, it was like 9 years ago, I wont mention any names here…

Lady No-1
It was quiet a wired relation, the reason it was wired it was because we only talked on phone and text messages, and I was quiet frustrated of the situation because we were stuck like in the middle of a bridge and the bridge was shaking heavily and everything was just so abnormal, but least bothered was I, so one day I got a chance and she called me and told me she is thinking of meeting me, and I was like in heavens my very first date, and well the next day I was waiting for her outside her college and she showed up like 2 hours after, my fault i was too excited so I went before time, so we met and she got me a purse (Wallet) and the worst part was I never saw her face she was wearing a (ABBAYA) a traditional dress in which women hid there face.she had beautiful dark brown eyes, the only thing I remember about her are her eyes. She was a good person all I can say about her was she was like the unwanted change in a season, like its hot and suddenly from no where it starts raining.

Lady No-2
Now this one was quiet a date, I mean how can some one only be in relation for only two days, this is how it begins, I met this girl in a church and I looked at her she was tall, pink skin, big brown eyes, very beautiful and light brown hair, beauty itself was she.
Accidentally I went into the Church library she was there with her aunt and her aunt left the library and she was there and was about to leave the library, and I was sitting watching here leave, but from no where I just started running towards and grabbed her arm and asked her to stop, and she was scared like I was some kind of a murderer as I stared into her eyes every moment stopped and I felt like time was on a pause, it was good. I asked her If I could know her name, I actually knew her name, now things were happening itself I felt like I was trapped in a coffin, and my soul was doing all the work here, so I got her number.
One day I just woke up and received a call from an unknown number, on attending the call she spoke and asked If I could come over to her house, I said yes, time and date please like a gentleman, huh, what a story, anyways, few days after I went to her house, and when I was in the living room sitting with her aunt and cousin now I had to spend the next 1 hour listening to what they were telling me, and I asked where is the lady, well I was told that is scared to meet me, I mean scared ” am not here to get married or its not my first honey moon night” so I went to her room and asked if she could come to the living room, so she came we spent like 30mins just staring at each other and I was scared, well some how I managed to come close to her and her aunt and cousin were sitting and I kissed her, and said I like you, and would want to know you more, and I left she was smiling and her skin was so cold and I tell you I saw the flower bloom right on her cheeks, it was beautiful, well just because I kissed her in front of her family , her family got so offended that I could never talk to her every again, I tried my hardest efforts to meet her, I mean I could dream of her for months. but we never met again, a lesson learnt you never kiss a girl in Pakistan when shes with her family. She was like the garden where flowers only bloom and glow like they are immortals.

Lady No-3
Some people just come like the thunder and disappear like the smoke in the air, so was she adorable and beautiful, dark skin, tall, beautiful dark black hair reaching her hips, as she walked the hairs were the beauty mark of this beauty, she was like the mountain top with no snow dark as the top of the mountain, such sharp facial expressions, I saw her as I was in my village, and there was she, I could smell the barley off her clothes, I had 7 days of my life spent with her but those 7 days of my life were breath taking, I never Kissed her the only thing we had was a hug and holding hands and talking like birds flying so high in the air, and when I left she had such big tears in her eyes that was the first time I ever cried like I was in love, but we had to depart, I had to go, I wished I could spend the rest of my life the dark shades of her beauty. She was like the Autumn, and the only thing I left with was the leaves of memories I had with her.

Lady No-4
Went to the army and came back home after a year, and went to another City because I was not getting attached with anyone at home so much anger so much depression, I was completely wrecked inside out. On arriving into this new city every thing was new, made great new friends, and Then in these new friends I met this Girl, when I first saw her I thought she was some kind of a fashion model, words would be less If I describe her, she was sharp, bold, like a Hot tennis player she looked, Well I wont spend much time is describing of telling what we had or what went, because Its way to painful for me even to write.
The only thing I can tell is I spent 3 hours walking covering 25 KM of distance just to see her. It was something I dared doing for her, and rest I never knew where shes now, a few months ago I received a call from a friend that “She” asked how was I and how I am holding up these days. It gave me joy that all she went through, she is happy and healthy as she was before. She was like the falling leaves of Cherry, like a snow fall of leaves.

Lady No-5
Some days your low and some angel comes sitting next to you and starts talking to you as the person knows you like for ages, She was like that, and un-invited guest into my life, but she changed so much into my life, taught me who I am what I am able to do, thrilled me to go for the Vision I have, I had the most beautiful memories with her than any one I have ever know, But then there was time when I had to leave and go back where I came from, But I still remember her face, her joy her delights, the way we kissed, the way we had time together, she cooked food for me, and well she was a great person, now She is living in Dubai with her family. many years past we never had a conversation. A blessing for the barren desert where its all dry and it rains and quenches the thirst like was she.

Lady No-6
Time flies by and you don’t even know where you will be the next moment or the next day, so I was in Thailand, and was in a college studying. after all these years of studying and research in mental states of Humans, now I was in a complete different dimension, a culture I was least aware about, very less I knew, and then here comes She, the first Girl I ever thought of getting married and having kids with in Thailand, She was a young 20 years old Thai girl, and I was 22 years of age at the time, well we first met on the Halloween night from my child hood I was very fascinated how to play with words and to form them into beautiful poems so I was a part of play and multi tasked my mind found a pen and started writing a poem for her, well I wrote a beautiful poem and at the end of the poem I wrote my number with this note ” If its beautiful do let me know” now how smart that move was I came to know on the next Sunday service at the Church, as her mom reached me and told me quiet a nice poem it was, and I was like did I write it for the mom or for the Girl, well she came to me and apologized for the matter happened, what could I have said other than ” oh no problem I am good”, so one late night some one called me, and I woke up picked up the phone, and what a surprise it was her, and then we talked for like 3 months, looked at each other every Sunday service, now you would be think why we never went out on a date reason was simple I was in my 1st year and according to the college rules I cannot go out on a date. and for some reason her mom thought that Pakistan was a terrorist country and if her daughter got married to me, she would get killed by Al Qaeda, now that was no joke this actually became a threat and we never talked after, because some issues stood up, gossips, poor she was blamed and I was told not to talk to her again or else I be kicked out of the college, so we never talked again. She was sweet like the strawberries.

Lady No-7
In the same first year we went to the Northern part of Thailand, We had a base camp, and it was my first hiking trip ever, Me and my mates had prepared ourselves very well, we did exercises every morning, and I was in the Army in the past so was’t to hard for me, so the trip begins, as days passed one hot day everyone was resting at the camp and few mates were playing around, I saw couple of villagers setting up the new church building floor, so I went and started helping, and as I was helping them all people of the village that were there were so pleased to see me help them, I was a Huge muscular guy, picking up big bags of mud, and working like a machine, and from no where comes this Girl, slim and very strong, she was wearing a big thai Hat, barely could see her face, and she went I filled a couple of baskets of sand for her, but my friends that were thai came to me and told me yo mate the chick is checking on you, I was like yea yea what ever. moving forward a few days after we came back from the hiking we were packing our stuff and the village people came to us, and started saying good bye to us, now the girl I was filling baskets for came to me and we talked I had her e-mail address and her phone number and she asked me to call her when I reach back to my college, so I did, and since then we talked for almost 4weeks, and very long phone calls, Simon living next door always listened to my calls and made joke of me, and we both laughed, but then it was time to go back home, and I had 3 weeks more to stay in Thailand, I had a few thousand Thai currency left in my wallet, so I decided to go visit her all the way to Chang-Mai, and the plan was to return in 32 hours. I did’t wanted anyone to know I was gone all by myself. So I went, traveled all the way to Bangkok and then took an bus and went all the way to Chang-Mai and it was a 12 hours journey, and I arrived there like 3am in the morning and I was tiered no where to rest my bum, and it was a foreign country people could barely speak English, well I spent 5 hours sitting on a bench and not falling a sleep and waiting for Her, so She came and we went to a restaurant had breakfast together, then Starbucks had coffee, talked, and then decided to visit the Mall, I don’t remember the name but it was massive, we went to watch movie, and worst part was the movie was in thai… So we had a great time, as it was time for me to travel again we were sitting at the bus station holding hands, and she Said she like me and feels love for me, and so was I in the same condition I was tiered and very low, I did’t wanted to go back, just wanted to disappear in the mountains with her have kids, and spend the rest of my life with her in the Jungles of Thailand, but I had a commitment made with my College so I had to go back to Pakistan, so I went back and she kissed me a long warm Hug with tears. I came back home and told my mom I like her and think of getting married to her, but my mom disagreed but who said I give up, I kept on talking to her and she talked to her parents so did they disagreed same old stupidity ” what if our daughter gets killed in Pakistan” anyways after that we couldn’t talk much, and distances started to become bigger and bigger and we are now just friends. She was like the sunshine in the winter like the hope for the summer after the winter nights.

Lady No-8
Not much I want to write about this one its not I hate writing about it, We were friends, got in relation, engaged, and broke up, she and I were in the longest relation of my life more than 1 and a half year we were in relation.
She had the most beautiful eyes and hair, I still remember her every moment passing reminds me of her. If there was a season that couldn’t be described it be her to be described with, Fragile and Beautiful.

Lady No-9
No-Comments it was like the season when I felt cold in winter and Warm in summer, it was just something I could never explain.

Lady No-10
Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.
She Changed my life to what I am today, She was Complete in every aspect, like she was the four seasons of a year. Beauty like the angels of the heavens, everything so perfect. She was My angel.

These are the 10 women and 10 memories I could never forget, not sure about the past, but they were the building blocks of what I am today, to what I will be for the One I will be spending my life with, Its a Tribute to these wonderful women I have been with. and all these women I have been with never attempted to Have sex with.
Why I wrote this is out of the question box, but Its surely is a reminder that Behind Every Successful Man there is a hand of a Lady.
I remember you and will remind myself of you in the phases of my life where I am least sure what to do now.

Well Said…

4:30am in the morning 09-06-2014 a message received that we won’t be seeing each other a shocking news struck my ears, locked doors, smoking with a glass of coke, and the only light was from a laptops screen. Tears flowed as like there was a funeral of a loved one, a sudden dizziness overtook the mental state, and lost hold of the conscience and then nowhere to go scenario happened, with full strength encouraged and held my head on the line and committed to that there was happiness in my side that whatever the decision is I am happy, instead there was such brokenness and such drama I was going through “stay unharmed stay happy” is all that I kept on saying all again and again,
Stubborn in my reaction on every text I received, and then the last text “can’t continue, my words can cast you back into this man’s interest, which I don’t want as you are happy with your decision so am I”
A friend of mine KHIZ always reminds me of the worth I have, all the potential, all of her words were there as a friend there in need of one, hmmm, what a co-incidence the very next step I e-mailed KHIZ as she is in China at the moment, well she always has a backup plan for me, and this afternoon all my buddies started texting me, and from nowhere I had this enchanting feeling for this 23oct buddy of mine, what this is I am absolutely not sure… I had a little attraction towards but what this was not really sure, every this I do is so “well said and so straightforward for most people is such stupidity, this is what makes a unique impression of what I am.
There is this uncertain feeling and that is beautiful as this is the time of learning the new phase of love, I doubt this is not wrong as judgment is waiting for the motives if wrong.
Unsure of what the next word would struck out of my mind onto the key pad of my computer, as I write this as a well said oath to myself as a reminder for myself for where I stand from where I started to where I am there is such a new level of understanding in who I am, at what certain levels I can go, reaching the next level in emotions, understanding others, myself and most of all not giving up at all for one emotional breakdown on what I am intention-ed to do.
What a life when everything seems so well said, seems like every single day is like a glomming flower on the side of a river bank where every breeze is so beautiful and touching, where every striking moment is a beauty in itself.
how am I supposed to tell the true tale of life and love in just one single word, it’s so well said the love is not mentioned through lips as eyes are the only door way to the very expression of love…
as so far I know what’s next will be well said…

Demonic Inside

Obscured with my very own insecure personality, over doomed with the sense of my insanity, keep on running back and forth seeking for the truth every human is doomed with their very own personal theology and this is leading to a uncertain hell, the curse is rising demons are overruling the insecure minds of the very creation of the King.
Demanding a secure pass was as there is none, no one seeks the hard path reaching the level of curse where we oath ourselves with a thought as we faith in our suicide.
light was right ahead that deep dark hole was a curse, so many thoughts striking, scratching arms, pulling hairs, tear flowing eyes, and then there is insane obscurity of the demons presence, as the slight hitting call seemed to be delighting and then it turned to be a curse once again held up straight into the devils hands and once again faith in my very suicide began, devil like a whore substance into the aroma of an angel, that smiling lips those tempting eyes, turned the soul to become pervert once again lost host of my senses and ruined the creation of that very imagery.
Not saint not a soul seeker, scene obscene or a mob scene, sex dramatic pain stalker live licker of liquor not a scene for sure a mob scene.
I have seen sensed as the drum beats rolled my eardrums, I could deny the presence of her demon, it over ruled me once again, lost hold as those shouting lips of happiness, cursed me into another phenomenal level that was reaching me to faith in my suicide.
I don’t care if the world is ending today, because I wasn’t invited in the destruction drama, I was a bone of spiced up words, temptation of self-attained looks that will ride you to the dramatics of your so called heaven as it isn’t as it is hell, I am not licking the heart of your very presence as I am demonic the only thing missing is a fantasy and a bitch like you.
What is in it or what is so funny, demon or an angel, because am renamed by your world’s league I am the Lord of the temptations curses, let me delight you with this lust an insecure demon who assures to security of the lusted worlds Crete. It’s like mine funeral, as everyone is attending and making sure I stay dead, I stay dead, will it surely assure your attentions of my dramatic death, make sure I am dead, as am not, Lord of the demanded never dies as the curse will then turn into an insane aids.
Like the crowd with a walking behind shadow, shall my demons watch over you, shall follow until they reach the grave where they will rest beside you, I assure the reoccurrence of the moments again, they will rule and they will overtake the demons of my insane personality.
Faith in my suicide.

An Outcast

October 23, 1989 birth of a new era in this beings life. Takes time to learn and develop a character which we have gained with the passage of time spent. In the early years of life as a child was very into myself, knew from the beginning that the end to my very existence will be very painful, but what motivated throughout the years and still is that how to go through this painful scenario that has developed in my head.
Often we desire that we can do things that can help us generate a new level of strength but we fail to do so, we lack in faith and in determination. Why not then stepping up and getting through the hard times and in these times develop strength a shield that leads us towards our victory.
Disowned by loved ones and left like an astray, There is always a hope for the wounded, the days when strength and happiness was in full strength, when tears used to write her name in words later formed to be poetic quotes, for now she is offending in her thoughts, need to strengthen so cure can help resist the consequences of pain and suffering.
Desires are always to satisfy our lust for possession, for lust was never a hurdle, and never felt like weak in times when there was suffering for gaining, but now there is no hope, and wilderness rust is over lapping the dreams once seen, for now an outcast is no longer stubborn as was in times of strength.
Loneliness itself a disease a sarcastic disaster, strikes the mind like a hurricane, often things happen, atmosphere change, but this scenario is so underlining, I often think how can I overcome this dark factor, listening to music think of loved ones, pray so many aspects can be brought in, but there is always a silence leading to something new, that very new factor is something that causes a change.
Things happen in life, that cause change, a time to harvest a time to sow the seed, once the organized plot is set the standards start coming. Over ruling the thoughts that come first, opinions start rushing your thought line.
From a distance a couple was sharing their moments of the past or present not really aware of, started starring at them and a sparkling glow started to fall in my eyes, as I turned my eyes around I saw a man with his uncle a worker at the department sharing what happens in the university, as I wagged my eyes I saw another couple walking, they were shy but very confident in their relation, but the observer itself is lonely, how come he is lonely? Are we designed to be alone, The ultimate God created us and brought in a gift a pleasant being to stand next to us in every era of our lives, still we fight with our loneliness.
Cold and lost, uncertain of the next moment, the present is striking my head to think of the next strategy, focused very much on achieving something, which is a very common factor.
Every man for itself, every being for itself has a circle of thoughts, a world of theirs. Do we tend to be like this or are we haunted by this sarcastic scenario, freedom we say we live, but we don’t because we are haunted by our own very thoughts. Lights are sparking in the darkest part of night, they shall lead me home, and shall I follow them or the divine authority above in heavens.

Not in further strength to write…

Like the Perfumes, Shall the essence live till eternity

only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life

Love like never before… She kept me on my toes…

Image

Christmas 2012, was a Victorious Christmas of my Life, when I finally finished my Portrait of my Girlfriend.

I am Paul, as many of my friends Know me around the World, I am a Preacher, Photographer, Designer, Biker, Blogger, and a Loving Love for my Jocelyn. 

I have been in relation for so many times, all that ended on 2012 Christmas, I got a full-stop in my life, where I had to began with a new sentence, and That sentence only consisted of Me and Jocelyn and the life we will share, Its been 10 months already we are in relationship, and we are Best-friends and share every matter with honesty and Integrity, Which is such a blessing for each other, I am so happy that I am in Love with this Girl…

The Story Begins when I first saw Jocelyn in VBCI, The very first word came in my head was “crazy girl”, I had no Idea I was going to commit on spending the rest of my life with this beautiful blond. We both were in VBCI and I was a second year and She was a 1st year, and according to the rules we could not date, but God had a different plan for us, sometime when I remind myself of the past days I am filled with Joy.

At the first semester started of VBCI Jocelyn ended in Continuum and I had to teach her Graphics, which she was really not interested in, But I had to teach her no other way around, and in my head I still had that thought am stuck with a very young girl who is new in life and everything is exciting for her, but still for me she was a “crazy Child”. 

Season of Love has no perfect timing it can happen any time, Love has amassed me so much same is the Love of Christ, when He came in my life, there was no perfect moment or time it just happened, and the sudden effect lasted till today…

After 2days of teaching Jocelyn Editing, we were in continuum, surrounded by many eyes, and voices, everyone was working, I turned around and looked at Jocelyn, and a “Pause” that’s when I fell in love with her, that very moment I got a full-stop in life, and not sure how I can explain more… 

But every thing has its own terms and conditions. God created Man and gave him command over all living beings and then He saw man has need, he needs a partner, even though we today emphasis so much on God my first partner, I cant do anything, I absolutely will agree with that, but We still need a companion, some one we can Kiss some one we can hug, some one we can laugh or cry with, someone like Eve for Adam in the Garden of Eden. There are people who decide to live alone and serve the Lord for the rest of their days, I respect that and Honor them, but for those who feel that they need a partner, I urge that Partner with some one Who is for you.

The moment I felt that “Pause” when I looked in her eyes, I wanted to express my feeling but I stopped myself from doing that, instead I kept quiet for the next few months, That night I was standing in my room balcony, closed the patio door, and started looking at the Stars, and Saw them and was amassed, I wanted to tell Jocelyn What I felt in my heart for Her, But God had a different plan planned out for me… Good thing my Heavenly partner was working along with me, I prayed about it, and in the spirit I felt that 24th December 12:00 midnight I will tell Jocelyn what I have in my heart for her, how much she means to me, Now all these thoughts were to quick to start with.

God is so great He has planned an abundant life for us, He has given us authority over all. I remember the promises He made with Abraham, That is a reminder to all that What God does is eternal, and is forever.

This time in life I left all in the Hands of God I decided to wait until Christmas. But it should not be a boring proposal, so I had to do something special, something I had never done before in life, so I bought a Diary and started writing poems of Love, only for Jocelyn, every word I had in my Heart I wrote it with absolute clarity, and When I felt that this is not enough, I started making a Sketch for her, which was big as a “42 inch LED Screen”, I made the first sketch which I was disappointed, because I am an artist I wanted to see perfection, so I made another one It took me almost 2 weeks to get it done, and I finished 2 days before Christmas, In my heart “I did it, God you were with me the whole time, so be with me now”. 

So I found Jocelyn sitting in the Corridor of our living place, She was sitting skyping with her mom and family, well I asked to wake up till the Christmas rings for 2012, and she did, She was extremely tiered but she waited and when the bells rang I gave her the Christmas present, ” Sketch + Poem book + Letter “… not sure what would happen next, and she said Thank you and went into her room, I felt like I disappointed her or made her feel bad, I came back to my room with absolute no hope, and getting punched right on the face, I was upset, :/ and went to bed, with a little prayer with my words to the Lord, ” God in your hands I give all Happy Christmas Good night mom dad and all” and off to bed was me…

What happened next day was a blessing rain from the heavens, I said “I love you” in return she felt it the same way, we decided we will know each other more than what we know than the usual, and it was a wise decision, and as School year passed, things became more greater for both of us, and we were enjoying our selves and out relationship, God was working among us, and I felt so much in Love.

During all this time I proposed Jocelyn under the moon light and made a covenant with her ” For I am man, and I serve a God who is King of Kings, and I will be with you, and honor you as long as I live, I wont look onto other women for I am yours and yours alone, I will lay my life down for you as Christ did, I will love you Like the Lord loved me despite of who I am and was, so will I do the same, I ask you to be mine today and forever more, ‘Will you marry me some day'” and I stood up brought her close to me, and reached my hands towards her face and Kissed her.

I have never Kissed a girl like this in my life, I never proposed a Girl in my life like this, This was something that was very Divine, and very special, under the moon light, and off we went to our rooms, and from then on we became more close and our friendship grew stronger and stronger…

This is what happened in my life that I really believed I wanted to share. I am 23 years old and am engaged to a beautiful young Blond, She loves the Lord, and the best part she keeps me on my toes…

Dedicated to my Love forever till the end of my days… My one true Love Jocelyn Bartzen.

Engraved on a glass like life…

Image Our lives are so clear, maybe its our eyes that need some sort of treatment or medicine, to see things the way The King of Kings see, A glass like life we have, today we are tomorrow who knows what happens.

I still remember those days when I used to be a stud in high school and college and kept on keeping my pride so strong inside of me, Some days of my life my pain grabbed me so hard, I tried to let go all these cults, I had engraved on my heart, like tattoos my past was horrible and painful.

January 5,2012 was the day I was to preach at VBCI morning chapel service, and I choose a topic from one of the Old Testament books, One of my favorite book to read, even though it is dry and full of sorrows, but in it I see myself completely defined, The Book of Ecclesiastes. It was my 2 semester after new year, and It came to my ears some one wished to hear a sermon from the book of Ecclesiastes, without keeping a second thought in my mind I decided to preach from this book.

3rd Jan 2012,A day from the day I was to preach at morning service. I had a dispute with a loved one 5:30am TH GSM in the morning, I was raged with anger, It was the worst day of my Life, I went back to my dorm and cried so loud, and I was without a clue, what to do. anyways things happen in life and we learn from them. The day comes 5th Jan 2012, had a great worship in the morning, The person I prepared the sermon Left the chapel right after the worship, Because the person had to attend a meeting at the deans office. So I stood without noticing she was not on her seat, A bit sad, maybe she is mad at me, maybe she hates me, Goodness, my sermon, My head was full of freaking and scary thoughts. I started with a prayer and million tears in my heart, I started with a hope, that If not her, then others, Well In my previous Chapter of my Kings Art book blog things happen as they are meant to happen, cause is simple “Destinies are decided in heavens”. I preached and it was my life’s best sermon, well preached, conveyed the message on to the hearts of the receivers. I preached from Ecclesiastes 3:1-9. What happened after the sermon was extraordinary, God saw my heart. I was in study hall and She came in held my hands, and told me something which stoned every thought every particle around my very presence, tears flowed through my eyes, I said sorry. From that day on I took a challenge to see and do things different, the way I used to do.

Ecclesiastes 3:9 says “What do we gain from all our work?” (Good News Bible)
We gain an everlasting price of the good things we do, a simple word “Sorry” created a difference in the life of man like me, and taking a challenge that day embraces the glass like life of me. Kings Solomon in his words show great wisdom. A man like whom was no other man on the very face of the planet earth. Ecclesiastes 3:9, Challenges me still today, that one day took me from one turning point to a new perspective for life.
Challenge yourselves today for a tomorrow, that ensures today that you will definitely be successful.
Proverbs 25:11 “an Idea well-expressed is like a design of gold, set in silver” (Good News Bible)
Dedicated to a very Special person, A challenge that challenged me to engrave gold on silver.
Ps-Birdie Letendre (A mother and a friend in faith for eternity)