Out of the Blue ( Ch-2 )

HD-Wallpaper-Hawk-in-The-Sky-Wallpaper

Summer on the edge and winter breeze touching the tips of my hands, and yet am warm, the shivering cold is yet to strike and soon it be cold. The clear blue skies and its beautiful glance glows the eyes and makes me think why am I so warm as winter is yet to come, and it’s her eyes that are like the bright sun that glows me from the inside out.
as we were traveling all around the city, holding hands and looking at each other witnessing all the sights together and in our conversations we were making love all the time, and holding each other up in encouragement and in faith that we are on the purge of Love.
Some days life seems so dull and dry, as the time comes when am waiting under the tree for her arrival or a chariot with black wild horses carrying her on their back and as she is rushing towards me the leaves on the path fly behind her making a circular vacuum, The scene seems like a artistry of an expert artist.

I always wanted to hear her voice and my name through her lips into my ears. One hot day as we were driving our way back, she wanted that if we could spend the evening together and well In my heart I was wishing it could happen, and she gets a call that it is possible, and she told me that we could hang out till 7:00pm. I was excited and well she dropped me off and I came all the way back to her and picked her car and went away to my friends, and she told me to pick her up by 6:30pm and she was happy and excited and I went away to be with my friends and wait until I pick her up.
As I was with my friends I was talking that I have this feeling like I am scared to see her, now the word scare is not the very of appropriate words in this matter, I might count it as I was having a high heart beat rate and I was like OMG I got to pick her up, I was anxious and scared but I was in the meanwhile time so excited that I had no clue what I was supposed to do.
So the Clock ticks 6:00pm and I rushed my way to the car turned the engine and shifted the gears and on my way was I to see my love.
She came out and was looking here and there her eyes were rooming all around as if she was finding me in the crowd, The car’s engine was on and the AC was running and I actually pulled the handbrakes well she always told me that I forget pulling the handbrake, well this time I did, so when I saw me beauty I shifted the gear and dragged the car right to her and I was unaware that the car was still in Handbrakes mode, crazy me, well when she got in I pulled the handbrakes down and well on our way we went….
As the sun sets as her love grew more and I being on the edge just being pulled into her existence and being loved more and more.
as we holding hands stopped the car on the side of the highway road and holding her face in my palms and I kissed her, and she was like OMG… and then on our way back again, and we drove all around like our home was this car, and she rested in my lap and I kissed her madly as I was driving and making a confession of what I am to her, and this whole scenario was a beautiful act that I could never forget and I still have those moments stored in my head as they are happening right this very moment.
Out of the blue she came in my life and confession of our love in the middle of the desert in eyes we did walked on fresh waters…
This is Life as I see now happening inside of me, the rebirth of my existence in the truest of its form.

U & Us

EncounterLG

Ch-1: The Encounter

Things are never the way expected, and many reasons we fail ourselves only because we see no progress in our lives, Seasons change and we just restless beings take no chances maybe we are without reasons to step into a dimension. Our Past often becomes a curse to our existence, and we start blaming ourselves and most of all God, it’s like we faith not in God anymore only in the Suicide of our miserable lives.
Months passed standing under a tree I was on my knees crying out in pain asking for a chance to be accepted back into the arms of what I know as my comfort. Maybe sometimes comfort becomes a pain a curse that seems like never going to get off you, no matter how hard you try. Life matters most to those who live in a comfy world of theirs but is that the answer to what we see and stand and live for never taking a chance for ourselves, and never moving a little further to see how deep the water is or how high are we or how close are we to know what is next in our lives. Maybe this is a lesson we always need to learn and never can we be saved from the judgments of this passive world view. And as this all was running through my head I was in such tears that I could feel myself crying and begging me to get me out of this Body of mine, and it wasn’t the option I could dare to do so, maybe as I said earlier we never take a step further, and that was the time When I had to take a step of faith and walk away standing on the edge and 6months passed, and every passing soul that stood and stared at me wanted me to do what they have wished for, and I kept on standing there with the Lost me.
And days past and nights felt longer than expected, kept of staring at the stars all night long, accused so many time “ sleep dear one” maybe that wasn’t much of an accuse just because I was living a Suicide every passing day of my life.
Sometimes when we are not ready and we feel like we won’t be ready ever again it THE ENCOUNTER happens, and referring this to the situation when we feel whole and complete in every sense of the word and still we fear so much so many questions that we have been asking ourselves from nowhere start to arise again and again and we are so Fucking lost in this phenomena of being not able to digest any of what we encounter what is right in front of us.
Like walking in a park smoking and talking to myself and really not concerned what was happening around me and suddenly a Voice reaches you and you become so responsive now honestly speaking you don’t know what in a hell that person wants from you, and it all started from asking what is new in the Android world of Mobile phones, and I kept on being nice and nice, and kept on talking for hours and hours, and the encounter started to look beautiful and like there was some sunshine and some flowers added to the scene, like a collage image…
And still you are with those questing what and how and why and when… they just kept on haunting you, every time I was with her cigarettes were kept on a pause, and I was just myself and I was I again… and my encounter started to grow longer and longer…

Asleep, don’t wake me up…

564363_4953295906955_581978258_n

For some reasons I keep on writing, recently I told my friend I got bored of photography, something about writing is like I am writing a letter to me in the tangible, a soul to a body message is how I see my writings, a message to me… but this one is something the tangible me needs to know.

A day past and everything changed, everything that I am so sure about huh changed like it was summer today and winter the next moment, how fast it could get was something I had never imagined…
My heart was blind about you, I was too busy staring at the stars for such long, kept on putting out the fires that kept on burning me, kept on taunting me for such a long time, I have seen you smile, seen you cry, jump in joy, and I am just being a lost soul, those waters we stepped in as I jumped and a cry of fear arose such loud and in such care, like a crocodile was right in front of me waiting to kill me, huh such a related voice my imagination was wanting me to wait and hear, at silent waters I sat often and now she was there with me at the silent waters it happened…
You know when our music player continuously changes songs, and we see that diversion of emotions changing. Maybe we just have tuned ourselves to be stereotypes… change like the changing songs on a music player… Really that is how we see life and standing on the edge and I asked her a question… “What will you do as you’re here…” out of nowhere she stood next to me, like she was inside of me… like it was so real and ever thing seemed so small and I was in Love she couldn’t see maybe she is just looking right into my eyes so deep, maybe she can’t hear my voice out loud, Soul to Body I urge you to go tell her that, She is waiting…. Waiting cant loose her hoping that she be Hurt again, Love is not Hurt a relief that is eternal like the Heavenly God.
Soul speaking out loud, crying out in spirit I saw the fears of your heart, as you rushed to mix your tears in the waters of this world, Girl stop your talking I’ll be flying over in the Skies, If there was another method to communicate, I would be the Man to talk right into your eyes into your Heart…
Because I am in Love…
Soul to Body, Speak it out loud, wake her up… She is beautiful when awake, when not dead, when not in pain, when in joy… She is Beautiful, Soul to Body… Ask her for a reason not for a chance, I am making the same mistake again… LOVE

Imaginations leading to predictions undefined….

???????????????

Ever since I lost hold of the things that once were so close to me, as like if it was a star falling down on earth breaking the horizon line, so was I lost and suddenly found by non but self. Tried to keep a hold of myself not even sure if I was scared, like a star moving away. Kept on imagining even though I was told never to look back with no regret but still I kept on looking back when I told myself that there was no hope like it was a small world I was living in, and then things started to happen different as I saw my shadow on distance asking let me be granted with a scar what an imagination leading me to nowhere keeping things short often lead us to something defined only to us, for what has done wrong by the ones that we care and love so much more.
In the wildest of my dreams I listened only to screams, I don’t know how to tell her how to feel, maybe it’s time to move on, it’s like there is no one in the heart, I want to move somewhere else, an illusion illuminating every bit of what was holding me together, kept on telling me to clear things out, all those shitty acts that were just a commitment to what was made once, for sure it was love only for a friend, embarrassed not for what happened for only that it was me that was being a help. On every step I took I was more than a friend, loved like none that I have ever loved, cared more than I had to, maybe I was kept wrong. There is heaven and yes there is God, on earth was a soul that kept on scaring me like never before, not for what it was but it was an unusual case I made an agreement to.
It begins in the summer days, few friends disputing over one soul, hurt and lost was that person, maybe I invited myself uninvited and led into a new direction as I was some sort of counselor. I don’t know how people pretend that they are the only ones that know love is only known to them. Makes me laugh often when I was always reminded by a dear friend of mine “ so you know what love is” and I always kept on giving my own perspectives, and he kept on laughing and making fun of me and always helping me to understand that it’s a both way, “ you can’t love if it’s just one sided”.
As time passed things started to happen different they used to be, even at the end of the no matter how smart or how unusual I can be I am still a man with a heart, and its beating, responses cause my heart to beat different in different scenarios, maybe she forgot that I was just a friend, maybe she left herself unconscious and lead to an unknown direction, kept on telling me the thoughts that roughed her head and raged her up with anger, and me just a silent listener as if my whole concentration was towards the case I was dealing with.
I was ready for the rain to pour down on me, most of all I was ready for every consequence I was to be offered, it’s a hard business when you are in the counselors seat, most certainly when you tell people that alright you’re ready to see yourself, and that’s the time when they start screaming at you, and forget every bit of what had been done, and that’s the hardest part, a person like me who has anger issues and I don’t know when it came from maybe I was just not holding on to the position I was. And that is what needs to be understand that when you’re on a seat stick to the agreement’s you make, honestly it ruins the case you’re dealing with along with your reputation.
And after all what was happened, I was under water and I was breathing fine, and she was crazy and I was all breathing fine, cause I gave all of me, and still I was breathing. How many times I have to tell even when your crying your looking beautiful, like a muse in a forest, beautiful and elegant in all that I could speak of, all those curves and edges of that mind it was all beautiful to know, hustled in the rusted gossips that everyone could have ever offered, silenced and kept on listening, and then the raging volcano outraged and anger rushed like it was tsunami and it ruined the end and the beginning, even when I was winning or losing. And hens it ended in a disaster and now it’s just a vacant thought of the past, a lesson learned well, never leave the seat stick to it, it’s hard to be a good listener when you’re working on both ends…

10 Women, 10 warm moments…

4Seasons

In life there are many moments that just happen like the changing seasons, some are warm some are cold, and some are like the falling leaves off from the trees, and some beautiful like the glowing flowers. How many moments can a mind store well countless, But I remind myself of those 10 women I have been with, those ten moments in every one of those moments I felt the seasons of a year, a diversion in my life some lessons learnt well, some taught some now are friends and some gone far not sure where…

The journey begins when I was in High school, every one of my friends talking about girls and every one was like check that chick out, and sitting in a corner and thinking of whats happening around and paying very close attention to every action my mates were making, mean while I was made a joke out of my this action of noticing what my mates were doing some were like Gurus ( teachers ) like they knew everything, but the fact was clear we were all of the same age maybe some were little to smart and some were little less smart, but every one was thinking of wanting the Hottest chick in the High school, well I could not get the trophy in my high school years, well right after I finished high school, I shared this issue with my Uncle, and well he made a contact for me with one of his friends friend, well my Uncle was kinda very play boy type of guy, I thought he be the best person to reach at that point of my life, so I got hang out with a girl, the very first girl in my Life, it was like 9 years ago, I wont mention any names here…

Lady No-1
It was quiet a wired relation, the reason it was wired it was because we only talked on phone and text messages, and I was quiet frustrated of the situation because we were stuck like in the middle of a bridge and the bridge was shaking heavily and everything was just so abnormal, but least bothered was I, so one day I got a chance and she called me and told me she is thinking of meeting me, and I was like in heavens my very first date, and well the next day I was waiting for her outside her college and she showed up like 2 hours after, my fault i was too excited so I went before time, so we met and she got me a purse (Wallet) and the worst part was I never saw her face she was wearing a (ABBAYA) a traditional dress in which women hid there face.she had beautiful dark brown eyes, the only thing I remember about her are her eyes. She was a good person all I can say about her was she was like the unwanted change in a season, like its hot and suddenly from no where it starts raining.

Lady No-2
Now this one was quiet a date, I mean how can some one only be in relation for only two days, this is how it begins, I met this girl in a church and I looked at her she was tall, pink skin, big brown eyes, very beautiful and light brown hair, beauty itself was she.
Accidentally I went into the Church library she was there with her aunt and her aunt left the library and she was there and was about to leave the library, and I was sitting watching here leave, but from no where I just started running towards and grabbed her arm and asked her to stop, and she was scared like I was some kind of a murderer as I stared into her eyes every moment stopped and I felt like time was on a pause, it was good. I asked her If I could know her name, I actually knew her name, now things were happening itself I felt like I was trapped in a coffin, and my soul was doing all the work here, so I got her number.
One day I just woke up and received a call from an unknown number, on attending the call she spoke and asked If I could come over to her house, I said yes, time and date please like a gentleman, huh, what a story, anyways, few days after I went to her house, and when I was in the living room sitting with her aunt and cousin now I had to spend the next 1 hour listening to what they were telling me, and I asked where is the lady, well I was told that is scared to meet me, I mean scared ” am not here to get married or its not my first honey moon night” so I went to her room and asked if she could come to the living room, so she came we spent like 30mins just staring at each other and I was scared, well some how I managed to come close to her and her aunt and cousin were sitting and I kissed her, and said I like you, and would want to know you more, and I left she was smiling and her skin was so cold and I tell you I saw the flower bloom right on her cheeks, it was beautiful, well just because I kissed her in front of her family , her family got so offended that I could never talk to her every again, I tried my hardest efforts to meet her, I mean I could dream of her for months. but we never met again, a lesson learnt you never kiss a girl in Pakistan when shes with her family. She was like the garden where flowers only bloom and glow like they are immortals.

Lady No-3
Some people just come like the thunder and disappear like the smoke in the air, so was she adorable and beautiful, dark skin, tall, beautiful dark black hair reaching her hips, as she walked the hairs were the beauty mark of this beauty, she was like the mountain top with no snow dark as the top of the mountain, such sharp facial expressions, I saw her as I was in my village, and there was she, I could smell the barley off her clothes, I had 7 days of my life spent with her but those 7 days of my life were breath taking, I never Kissed her the only thing we had was a hug and holding hands and talking like birds flying so high in the air, and when I left she had such big tears in her eyes that was the first time I ever cried like I was in love, but we had to depart, I had to go, I wished I could spend the rest of my life the dark shades of her beauty. She was like the Autumn, and the only thing I left with was the leaves of memories I had with her.

Lady No-4
Went to the army and came back home after a year, and went to another City because I was not getting attached with anyone at home so much anger so much depression, I was completely wrecked inside out. On arriving into this new city every thing was new, made great new friends, and Then in these new friends I met this Girl, when I first saw her I thought she was some kind of a fashion model, words would be less If I describe her, she was sharp, bold, like a Hot tennis player she looked, Well I wont spend much time is describing of telling what we had or what went, because Its way to painful for me even to write.
The only thing I can tell is I spent 3 hours walking covering 25 KM of distance just to see her. It was something I dared doing for her, and rest I never knew where shes now, a few months ago I received a call from a friend that “She” asked how was I and how I am holding up these days. It gave me joy that all she went through, she is happy and healthy as she was before. She was like the falling leaves of Cherry, like a snow fall of leaves.

Lady No-5
Some days your low and some angel comes sitting next to you and starts talking to you as the person knows you like for ages, She was like that, and un-invited guest into my life, but she changed so much into my life, taught me who I am what I am able to do, thrilled me to go for the Vision I have, I had the most beautiful memories with her than any one I have ever know, But then there was time when I had to leave and go back where I came from, But I still remember her face, her joy her delights, the way we kissed, the way we had time together, she cooked food for me, and well she was a great person, now She is living in Dubai with her family. many years past we never had a conversation. A blessing for the barren desert where its all dry and it rains and quenches the thirst like was she.

Lady No-6
Time flies by and you don’t even know where you will be the next moment or the next day, so I was in Thailand, and was in a college studying. after all these years of studying and research in mental states of Humans, now I was in a complete different dimension, a culture I was least aware about, very less I knew, and then here comes She, the first Girl I ever thought of getting married and having kids with in Thailand, She was a young 20 years old Thai girl, and I was 22 years of age at the time, well we first met on the Halloween night from my child hood I was very fascinated how to play with words and to form them into beautiful poems so I was a part of play and multi tasked my mind found a pen and started writing a poem for her, well I wrote a beautiful poem and at the end of the poem I wrote my number with this note ” If its beautiful do let me know” now how smart that move was I came to know on the next Sunday service at the Church, as her mom reached me and told me quiet a nice poem it was, and I was like did I write it for the mom or for the Girl, well she came to me and apologized for the matter happened, what could I have said other than ” oh no problem I am good”, so one late night some one called me, and I woke up picked up the phone, and what a surprise it was her, and then we talked for like 3 months, looked at each other every Sunday service, now you would be think why we never went out on a date reason was simple I was in my 1st year and according to the college rules I cannot go out on a date. and for some reason her mom thought that Pakistan was a terrorist country and if her daughter got married to me, she would get killed by Al Qaeda, now that was no joke this actually became a threat and we never talked after, because some issues stood up, gossips, poor she was blamed and I was told not to talk to her again or else I be kicked out of the college, so we never talked again. She was sweet like the strawberries.

Lady No-7
In the same first year we went to the Northern part of Thailand, We had a base camp, and it was my first hiking trip ever, Me and my mates had prepared ourselves very well, we did exercises every morning, and I was in the Army in the past so was’t to hard for me, so the trip begins, as days passed one hot day everyone was resting at the camp and few mates were playing around, I saw couple of villagers setting up the new church building floor, so I went and started helping, and as I was helping them all people of the village that were there were so pleased to see me help them, I was a Huge muscular guy, picking up big bags of mud, and working like a machine, and from no where comes this Girl, slim and very strong, she was wearing a big thai Hat, barely could see her face, and she went I filled a couple of baskets of sand for her, but my friends that were thai came to me and told me yo mate the chick is checking on you, I was like yea yea what ever. moving forward a few days after we came back from the hiking we were packing our stuff and the village people came to us, and started saying good bye to us, now the girl I was filling baskets for came to me and we talked I had her e-mail address and her phone number and she asked me to call her when I reach back to my college, so I did, and since then we talked for almost 4weeks, and very long phone calls, Simon living next door always listened to my calls and made joke of me, and we both laughed, but then it was time to go back home, and I had 3 weeks more to stay in Thailand, I had a few thousand Thai currency left in my wallet, so I decided to go visit her all the way to Chang-Mai, and the plan was to return in 32 hours. I did’t wanted anyone to know I was gone all by myself. So I went, traveled all the way to Bangkok and then took an bus and went all the way to Chang-Mai and it was a 12 hours journey, and I arrived there like 3am in the morning and I was tiered no where to rest my bum, and it was a foreign country people could barely speak English, well I spent 5 hours sitting on a bench and not falling a sleep and waiting for Her, so She came and we went to a restaurant had breakfast together, then Starbucks had coffee, talked, and then decided to visit the Mall, I don’t remember the name but it was massive, we went to watch movie, and worst part was the movie was in thai… So we had a great time, as it was time for me to travel again we were sitting at the bus station holding hands, and she Said she like me and feels love for me, and so was I in the same condition I was tiered and very low, I did’t wanted to go back, just wanted to disappear in the mountains with her have kids, and spend the rest of my life with her in the Jungles of Thailand, but I had a commitment made with my College so I had to go back to Pakistan, so I went back and she kissed me a long warm Hug with tears. I came back home and told my mom I like her and think of getting married to her, but my mom disagreed but who said I give up, I kept on talking to her and she talked to her parents so did they disagreed same old stupidity ” what if our daughter gets killed in Pakistan” anyways after that we couldn’t talk much, and distances started to become bigger and bigger and we are now just friends. She was like the sunshine in the winter like the hope for the summer after the winter nights.

Lady No-8
Not much I want to write about this one its not I hate writing about it, We were friends, got in relation, engaged, and broke up, she and I were in the longest relation of my life more than 1 and a half year we were in relation.
She had the most beautiful eyes and hair, I still remember her every moment passing reminds me of her. If there was a season that couldn’t be described it be her to be described with, Fragile and Beautiful.

Lady No-9
No-Comments it was like the season when I felt cold in winter and Warm in summer, it was just something I could never explain.

Lady No-10
Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.
She Changed my life to what I am today, She was Complete in every aspect, like she was the four seasons of a year. Beauty like the angels of the heavens, everything so perfect. She was My angel.

These are the 10 women and 10 memories I could never forget, not sure about the past, but they were the building blocks of what I am today, to what I will be for the One I will be spending my life with, Its a Tribute to these wonderful women I have been with. and all these women I have been with never attempted to Have sex with.
Why I wrote this is out of the question box, but Its surely is a reminder that Behind Every Successful Man there is a hand of a Lady.
I remember you and will remind myself of you in the phases of my life where I am least sure what to do now.

Well Said…

IMG_8202

4:30am in the morning 09-06-2014 a message received that we won’t be seeing each other a shocking news struck my ears, locked doors, smoking with a glass of coke, and the only light was from a laptops screen. Tears flowed as like there was a funeral of a loved one, a sudden dizziness overtook the mental state, and lost hold of the conscience and then nowhere to go scenario happened, with full strength encouraged and held my head on the line and committed to that there was happiness in my side that whatever the decision is I am happy, instead there was such brokenness and such drama I was going through “stay unharmed stay happy” is all that I kept on saying all again and again,
Stubborn in my reaction on every text I received, and then the last text “can’t continue, my words can cast you back into this man’s interest, which I don’t want as you are happy with your decision so am I”
A friend of mine KHIZ always reminds me of the worth I have, all the potential, all of her words were there as a friend there in need of one, hmmm, what a co-incidence the very next step I e-mailed KHIZ as she is in China at the moment, well she always has a backup plan for me, and this afternoon all my buddies started texting me, and from nowhere I had this enchanting feeling for this 23oct buddy of mine, what this is I am absolutely not sure… I had a little attraction towards but what this was not really sure, every this I do is so “well said and so straightforward for most people is such stupidity, this is what makes a unique impression of what I am.
There is this uncertain feeling and that is beautiful as this is the time of learning the new phase of love, I doubt this is not wrong as judgment is waiting for the motives if wrong.
Unsure of what the next word would struck out of my mind onto the key pad of my computer, as I write this as a well said oath to myself as a reminder for myself for where I stand from where I started to where I am there is such a new level of understanding in who I am, at what certain levels I can go, reaching the next level in emotions, understanding others, myself and most of all not giving up at all for one emotional breakdown on what I am intention-ed to do.
What a life when everything seems so well said, seems like every single day is like a glomming flower on the side of a river bank where every breeze is so beautiful and touching, where every striking moment is a beauty in itself.
how am I supposed to tell the true tale of life and love in just one single word, it’s so well said the love is not mentioned through lips as eyes are the only door way to the very expression of love…
as so far I know what’s next will be well said…

Demonic Inside

DSC_0131

Obscured with my very own insecure personality, over doomed with the sense of my insanity, keep on running back and forth seeking for the truth every human is doomed with their very own personal theology and this is leading to a uncertain hell, the curse is rising demons are overruling the insecure minds of the very creation of the King.
Demanding a secure pass was as there is none, no one seeks the hard path reaching the level of curse where we oath ourselves with a thought as we faith in our suicide.
light was right ahead that deep dark hole was a curse, so many thoughts striking, scratching arms, pulling hairs, tear flowing eyes, and then there is insane obscurity of the demons presence, as the slight hitting call seemed to be delighting and then it turned to be a curse once again held up straight into the devils hands and once again faith in my very suicide began, devil like a whore substance into the aroma of an angel, that smiling lips those tempting eyes, turned the soul to become pervert once again lost host of my senses and ruined the creation of that very imagery.
Not saint not a soul seeker, scene obscene or a mob scene, sex dramatic pain stalker live licker of liquor not a scene for sure a mob scene.
I have seen sensed as the drum beats rolled my eardrums, I could deny the presence of her demon, it over ruled me once again, lost hold as those shouting lips of happiness, cursed me into another phenomenal level that was reaching me to faith in my suicide.
I don’t care if the world is ending today, because I wasn’t invited in the destruction drama, I was a bone of spiced up words, temptation of self-attained looks that will ride you to the dramatics of your so called heaven as it isn’t as it is hell, I am not licking the heart of your very presence as I am demonic the only thing missing is a fantasy and a bitch like you.
What is in it or what is so funny, demon or an angel, because am renamed by your world’s league I am the Lord of the temptations curses, let me delight you with this lust an insecure demon who assures to security of the lusted worlds Crete. It’s like mine funeral, as everyone is attending and making sure I stay dead, I stay dead, will it surely assure your attentions of my dramatic death, make sure I am dead, as am not, Lord of the demanded never dies as the curse will then turn into an insane aids.
Like the crowd with a walking behind shadow, shall my demons watch over you, shall follow until they reach the grave where they will rest beside you, I assure the reoccurrence of the moments again, they will rule and they will overtake the demons of my insane personality.
Faith in my suicide.