The body has been reclaimed as object.


Our hyper sexualized culture has forced women into a prison of hypocrisy for centuries. Through the fake myth of female sexual liberation through the male gaze, perpetuated by the media throughout the decades, we have forced ourselves into the gilded cage of self-objectification.

We now demand a true liberation of the body from all preconceptions founded on the duality of spiritual and physical which has plagued our culture since the dawn of time. The Female is Body; the Male is Mind. We want this binary opposition annihilated, the ultimate barrier is the hierarchisation of gender!

We are all Flesh. We are plastic material, the strength of existence the mortality of all of creation.

In our reclaiming of the pure form of flesh, all distinctions of gender and race are destroyed. We believe in the aspiration for ultimate equality in our original essence, immune from the socialized conventions of our minds.

We believe the Mind, as structured by pre-conceived notions rooted in our social being, is the greatest obstacle to the Body as pure Potential. We refuse the Body as an expression of gender defined eroticization, as imposed by our society.


It is pure pleasure of Matter, to be moulded into Form by the empowerment of the female gaze. We choose objectification as the extreme act of removal of our collective subjectivity, allowing pure body language to break through the suffocating mountains of glossy bodies built for Male ownership.

We reclaim Objectification as a means of ultimate ownership of our bodies.

To Women.

Sheikh Abdus Salam “Abu”


I don’t know how to start this whole script yet I choose to write this particular letter dedicated to My Beloved “Abbu”, 2 years past I met Fajar she was one of a kind of a lady, and she took me to the next level where I could see the goodness and greatest of the Lord, I learned the real meaning of Kalma “ La ilaha Ill lal la hoo Muhammad ur rasool allah”, what greater gift that be in life, and the words I am to write are the shortest yet the most profound scripts of my life in the past 2 years of my beautiful existence as a Muslim, I believe God brought Fajar in my Life for a greater reason and greater purpose, I always wanted to meet her Mum and Dad, and she always said me in hope and faith “BABA” we are taking baby steps, I kept on waiting with high faith, and believed in Allah mian raza.

I seriously don’t know what to write next, every word I am writing is tearing me apart, yet this whole process was a life changing moment for me, I saw death taking life right from my hands, I still can’t stop myself Imagining that Allah blessed me only with a few hours of “Khidmat” for “Abu”.

I realized the true meaning of promise and responsibility in that person, I saw the Face of God in that man’s righteous eyes, and many would not agree to this thought.

A few months past when I told my mother about Fajr she said this is what I can do for you , you will never see me and my husband’s face on or funeral and you are forbidden to come or if try to attend we shall take serious notice against you.  I was absolutely quiet and I said Thank you if that is what Allah wants.

And yet Allah mian blessed me with this blessing of “Khidmat” of “Abu”, the truth is it was my destiny to be with him at that time, holding his hands and we bonded in that particular time, like he never heard of me he never knew I existed or was a part of her Daughters life, his righteousness reflected at that time when he by himself held my hand and held it with such firm grip that I felt his warmth and his love, How can someone be so kind and loving and so accepting in such a time like that. I can never be like him, but when I was having this thought in my head he looked so deep into my eyes regardless of the condition he was in, he spoke right into my heart and this is what I heard his eyes speaking – we can never be like each other yet we can do things better and make peace around us, and my lips spoke her name, and he looked right up the selling of the room and then looked straight at me, and we had this conversation for almost 15 minutes, ever single minute I spent with “Abu “ is written in my heart and I can never forget those 15 minutes of silent heart to heart conversation we had, I shared my feelings for Fajar with him and he never doubted it, how could he not doubt He is not God, but yet God lived inside of him and he saw what we both shared, I wish I could talk to him more, I feel blessed that I shared the good deeds Fajar shared with me, and all that She stood with me and how grateful she was to Him for everything, so many things happening in such a little time, and Today he was in the Hands of his Mehboob and Then I was at peace, and He is in the highest point in heaven.

She said, “Aj hum yateem ho gai baba” I told her no, “I too am yateem today”
my parents already have abandoned me they have rejected me as their son.
Allah mian tera karam hai kai tou ney mjhy aik baita aik damad aik naukar banany ka poora mauka dia… Mery is naiki ka ajar  Fajar aur uss kai khandan ko atta kar… Yeh meri duwa hai…  aameen


What good is for a man? Wealth, riches, freedom, women is there anything more than that even if there is it is just the fatigue of our own mind and subconscious.

There is never going to be that perfect in your life or an opportunity in your life, it’s never going to happen, you need to create that time in your life, that perfect moment.
People go to jobs they don’t want to go and they don’t want mind in doing that because they become comfortable truth is they become satisfied, jobs that are making them sick, when you have a goal that will make you get yourself out of that comfort zone, what will you do when the angel of misery visits you what will you Do?

We were born to be phenomenal and we were born to be what God has always decided us to be, and for some of us have to make those sacrifices and working for some else and make their dreams come to reality and when that happens your dreams are fulfilled, your parents are never going to understand and they are going to push you to your limits and we are going to be dragged to a grave yard where you seem so hopeless and everything seems meaningless, because it is up to us whether we give up or stand up and fight it to the ground.

Most people take their ideas to the graveyard and everyone is against you, and that’s not bad it’s beautiful, because you’re chasing your dream. Graveyard is where everyone wants to go but trust me it’s not the easiest place for everyone, that’s where ideas come and that’s where inspirations take birth, the death to oneself is the birth of a warrior.

The greatest enemy to your existence is you yourself and no enemy from the outside can harm you, you can dream and mend them the way you want them to be.
Keep up the dream and push yourself to the limits where people say your goanna die, and that’s when you’re going to Live and that’s when you’re at peace.

Your Name is what I am

Memories I have no meaning, no one ever cared no one believed In the potential that existed inside of me, for no reason it’s this fearful past that haunts me every second of the life and I have no cure to it, since when was the last time I ever cared for the things that matter the most and someone really believed in the original reality that was in my mind.

2 years that’s all I now remember and ever want to remind myself with Is you. How far I can assure you with all that is in my heart and there is nothing that I can forget every inch of these memories are the greatest achievements of my life, If I die today I won’t ever have a regret of what I have experienced yet even death hates me now because it thinks am not worthy of its lust and its desire.

Ever imagined having sex with death, I think I had and it’s not that beautiful when you dive in the middle of the ocean and then there is no one to rescue the more you let go of it the more it tempts you and its venomous temptation is out stated and no words can comparison its ……..?

The very first time my lips slipped upon her skin I felt as if the rivers of honey flowed underneath my lips as if the silk was floating in its purest. What a life it was what a moment it was.

The first time I kissed those rosy lips those lips that once sung the songs of love that were now so broken and no morning dew ever floated on them, and those dry treambling lips started to glow. That yellow dress those blue jeans those white feet with those slippers in water , even that muddy water started to become clearer when she stepped into them and that was she.

I Love You ……………………..

My absolute Subconcious


Before I begin This is how I think and this is absolutely how I want to grow old holding you close to me and will never leave your side my Beauty,

Another year past in my life, don’t know how many more to come, last year same night I wasn’t alone I was with someone sharing the dreams and all the emotions left in this vessel, I never knew we would come this far sharing so many things our lives in particular. The question she asked me a year past why does you and why do I love each other so much…? This was truly the hardest question of all I have ever put my mind forth to, and trust me I am writing after a really long time, and I have nothing to write about other than us, because She is all I have to write and that’s what I am going to keep on writing, Oh God I really get distracted. Well the reason is that I am listening to Thai songs at the moment something about foreign language is that it never lets you distracted, 20 years from now If I live I would still remember this night because tonight is when I bought my Lady her first ever new year eve present from my life first salary we not to forget I am working in a design agency as its official Art Director and Graphic Designer working two jobs is really freakish, trust me dear reader I have broken many hearts in the past years and ignored many friends tonight as tonight was the night She made so special.

I am a monster inside and love eating people’s emotions it’s like my most esteemed hobby, playing with peoples chemistry and burn them like anything and live on those emotions, huh well not anymore this person has truly shown me the path to eternity and well held me really close to what I should have belonged long ago in the past. Sometimes paths unite for a grater purpose, and I now witness things that I would have witnessed after 20 years from now. This hard rock life style is really what I living inside.

Why I love you is because I never loved anyone truly or maybe that was just a disillusioned thought of love inside of me. And every time I tell her I love her I feel like there is more that I should have done or should do, why she loves me is because she always wanted a monster to love the beauty of the capricious desert the beauty of the wilderness the beauty of heaven and earth, huh what a beautiful mind I feel right now, as like the beats of this heart breaking thoughts striking my mind and leading me to a new dimension and yet I am on my way to the far ends of my sub conscious.

Let me remind you something that Love is not a game it is something that not only comes with experience but it’s the rule that has been set up in heaven and only those learn it who truly have a heart carving for it its thirst is everlasting and when the vessel is filled with its capricious venom that is when love is truly felt, and I felt it with her.


Happy New Year Babe, I love you “Fajr Haroon” I live and write as there is nothing of such interest I really want to experience My whole life is now circulating around you.

fold to fade


Here we are we have just begun with what was once told it only happens after when two become one, every time I see women I think what makes them so different, well is its just the ability of them to pleasure your needs, help you meet the standards of romance things you imagine they provide, maybe all men are not alike, some are different some are like lets get over with it.
Here is a story of a young boy seeking to love, to him love is different, to him love is like dreaming with open eyes, with the feeling of life in it, with every beat his heart beats he dreams of experiencing it, yet he is on a far way reaching that destination. He looks up and see the stars sparkling and on the ground he sees the grass dancing with the breeze, yet he is so metaphorical in his approach to love, its not about he finds the one who could understand what he thinks, he just wants some one to experience that love without any bondage, this craziness is so divine as he says so.
” when I am naked and am not ashamed of anything, when she is naked and she has that shyness like fear in the eyes of a gazelle, her eyes sparkle as the light of the twinkling stars, her lips when move to create words, the departing of her lips from one another there is this layer that breaks apart and hens the sound produced, and then she takes a deep breath and i could see her vocal cord slightly moving up and down like some humming bird sucking nectar from a flower, the movement of her breast as she breaths heavily, and her hands couldn’t stop reaching my chest, and move slowly up to the back of my hair, and she grabs them and pulls them with a moaning sound and comes as close as she can without fear and then kisses my lips, and she chews lips as some deer feeding on grass, such nature reflects in the beauty of her innocent love, its so crazy, its slow yet the venom is so strong that I could fee the blood flowing in my veins, and she reaches my ear lobes and slides her tongue with it, like some kub feeding on milk, its so intense, then the bodies get warmer and warmer and starts sweating and its like being in a hot shower with just the two playing the game of love, a never ending resistless game, and she gets crazier in her movements like she cant resist those eyes with so much to give, and its a breeze that starts and never ends”
how come one dream so hard, open eyes and welcome every imagination and crafting these thoughts into a frame, like sewing apples of gold on a frame of silver, embroidered with jewels.
fold to fade, yet unfolded its quiet and brutal, and never ending its not lust its love.

10th July, Its where the change begings


10 July, 2012, lying on a bed in a hospital, heavily dosed with anesthesia, still unconscious and don’t know whether it was sunny outside, my eyes yet blurred and thinking what am I where am I, like I have lost everything I ever owned, this person this body I was inside of who is it who was it, the pains of the past screaming at me like some nightmare, yet i buried inside this body crying out loud my soul so restless shattered like the glass, why is this happening to me why cant i just escape this body this existence I have, why is God not listening to my cries.
It all began back in time when you make mistakes when your silly and young when nothing in life seems impossible, we all make mistakes in life but what I was committing to was something I had no idea where it was taking me. every action was blunt every commitment was from the heart, since the day there came a storm in my life a storm I couldn’t hold myself, I felt helpless and alone and yet still strong inside like my God was helping me all the time but this help of his was so meaningless why would He who is righteous still be my guide to all that I have committed, what was my wrong where was I wrong. and when the storm was clear like a little child I was left alone at home, crying out to the ones I so called friends, but you know I was labels as no good to anyone, like a looser. I never gave up hope I kept on thriving and forced myself that no matter what happens I will survive I will not give up, but this soul of mine so strong and committed my body couldn’t uphold the strengths it had, I was weak from the outside and broken with bruises all over me, like a slave to a mad dog.
Here I am trying to die or live not sure what will happen next. A year after I saw something I always have dream’t of, something so profound and pure, but those fears of the past those nightmares I had gone through am I doing the same again, well who cares my body didn’t allowed me yet my soul always looking for opportunities to help me rise again like the Glory days of my life.
I saw him with another girl, the way he was compassionate about her was something only seen in books, like he was all over her, like some protector. what was it that turned a man into something like what he was, I have seen men treat women only for the lust they hold inside of them and trash them. yet he was surprisingly different. I couldn’t resist his smile his passion, but it was so unfair if I would interrupt, I left in silence and went into my dark corners where I thought I belong.
A few months passed It came to my ears that person is alone and broken, I don’t know what made me talk to him what thoughts carried me to his words. It was something I never wanted but its not body it was my soul. We started talking and found him quiet a guy and kept on asking him whats good and whats bad, everyday I waited for him and wanted to talk to him, his words the way he talked and everything about his seemed so clear, like a person without faults, but what person without faults in life, he too had faults but he was affirming in every nature. week’s passed and we went on a drive and he drove me 150Km and kept me busy in site seeing and from the inside I couldn’t stop myself starring at him, but he careless of my feelings kept on driving. we kept on meeting each other, and one day we went to the waters what a day it was, he was so happy but had no attachments for me, no feeling reflected like he was so clear but I couldn’t see anything inside of me, how can someone be so clear and yet so filled up. well God knows how, until  he has to tell me. one night he told me he had feeling for me, He was young and smart and dumb and silly, I was scared and was in silence, but some how from no where I committed to him. after we were in relation one day we were going on a drive and he reached my hand and tried to hold my hand, I pushed him away, instead he stopped the car and made me realize its nothing to be fared, Its me, like a voice so pure I couldn’t resist and held his hand so strongly, I felt it and by the time we were driving I started crying and he never let go of my hand kept me close, I know he could have hugged me and cared for me more maybe he was scared or maybe he knew me more than ever, our love grew day after day but we both were scared of our past, but some how he challenged himself and kissed me, and I cant imagine a person asking for forgiveness when he kissed me for the first time, it made me pause for a while and in that whole time he kept on asking for forgiveness and it was beautiful, he still is one silly head. days passed months passed and the day comes when we both made love and shared our passion for each other, he never changed he kept the same he still is the same, somewhere in his silly mind he always imagines me as his home.
yet today 10th July the same day the same feeling again hovering my mind and I am sad, but somewhere He is still writing about me, not letting go off my hand, and knows exactly what Love is. He never went away and will always stay.