Forbidden Desire

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Your lips cover me with kisses, your love is better than wine. There is a fragrance about you, the sound of your name recalls it, and no woman could keep from loving you. Take me with you, and we’ll run away. Be my queen and take me to your room. We will be happy together drink deep, and loose ourselves in love. Woman from the city of saints, I am dark but beautiful, dark as the desert tents of Kedar, but beautiful as the draperies in Solomon’s palace. Don’t look down on me because of my color, because the sun has tanned me. My friends were angry with me and made me work hard in the sun. I had no time to care for myself. Tell me my love where will you lead your heart to gaze? Where will it rest from the noonday sun? Why should I need to look for you among the gazing hearts of this world?

She says, don’t you know the place, loveliest of men? Go and follow the flock; find a place and see for me.

I sat and prepare myself, you my love, excite men as a mare excites the stallion of Pharaoh’s chariots. Your hair is beautiful upon your cheeks, and falls along your neck like jewels. But we will make for you a chain of gold with ornaments of silver.

When she sees me replies, my king was lying on his couch, and my perfume filled the air with fragrance. My lover has the scent of myrrh, as he lies upon my breasts. My lover is like the wild flower that bloom in the vineyards at Engedi.

And I with no more embraces her, how beautiful you are, my love, how your eyes shine with love.

She keeps me in her arms, my head resting upon her breasts and she gentles me with her words, how handsome you are, and my dearest; how you delight me! The green grass will be our bed; the cedars will be the beams of our house, and the cypress trees the ceiling. I am only a wild flower in Sharon, a lily in a mountain valley.

And my heart beats like the war drums raging for a battle and I say, like a lily among thorns is my darling among women.

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Beautiful days only remain when hearts remain attached, how often do we experience such values, probably not much, but as wise men say there is always a possibility, and this is it.

Like every day I thought it would be the same, but why then everything seemed so beautiful the moment I was with her, this feeling of being eternal and being not alone is just without words, for not the first time but many of the first times I am without words, I mean how is it possible that I am without words, I mean am still writing but yet my thoughts are frozen not with cold but with the warmth of love. A day in a man’s life when he desires to be  loved and loved like it’s the first kiss like it’s the dream come true, like its everything like it’s just the starting of a new beginning.

The smile, teasing, laughing, making fun, running, dancing all together sounds like a fine orchestra, yet played only by two, finally I am getting my words back, it’s because only two can play this game of love.

My life is beautiful; I do not want to embrace it by claiming the most decorative love, but with the claim of being an honest one to my existence my God and my one true love.

My words oh my words, sound me with the waters of heaven, quench my thirst with your love, dream me into the valleys of kingdoms of the earth, rest my soul in the pastures of green grass. I see you in all the beauty of the Lord God, yet its love and its unconditional, I say I am in love all over again.

Desire

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Why sadness overwhelms my heart with aggression I am a mad man with storming fears of not dying, why then death kisses me everyday leaving a lust inside of me to quench more of this thirst I hold inside of me. Tears flow heart rages but what is it that is holding me from not committing to what they say is sin, is it a sin to lust for eternity why so then they cry out to us. This life we have such a short time such miseries such suffering and in all that we try so hard not to feel small but this thought of being alone is over my head and I am extremely lost, what then am I up to, every second as I am stepping close to the edge I can’t take this desperation of being apart from you, love is taking a new measure a measure that is uncountable and it’s just leading me to nowhere, even though I am happy but happiness id like a blooming flower it only blooms when am with her only then am alive why then am not alive when the rising sun of my life is not close to me.

Is there something on my mind, then why am I being drowned in this ocean of tears, a bloody blessing is what the heists of this world say it is, but if it is so then why can’t I shore myself on the sunny beaches of peace and happiness. Every time I see the sun I am hopeful why then when night falls everything seems so low and life less, why am I not in my lovers arms, why is my lust for her love is raging to a point when I might crash into so much pain and misery, I am crying loud but no one is out there to hear out my cries, it’s unfair its brutal yet it is love.

I am a shepherd without a heard of sheep, who am I leading, forgotten that it’s me who is leading myself where though, yet I am in a disbelieve of my own thoughts, a vengeance against my own existence why then I am leading alone on a pathway of sand, every time I look back with a hope if my foot steps are keeping a track of how far I have walked, yet this sand is rubbing the tracks of my existence and I am left with a belief that I am alone, yet I am leading myself. What a misery what a belief, yet hard to believe its love.

Have you loved once twice or maybe more, but what is it that keeps us moving, it’s a hard question to understand and answer, there have been many that claim to answer and understand, did they really felt the blessing of being a lover, maybe yes maybe not, what is it then that drives us to do more then what we hold inside of us, I say its unconditional simply it can’t be answered why I love you so much, I just love you.

The high walls

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It’s a tradition of ages that only one in millions receive the trophy, well I am not a gladiator who won a battle to win the heart of a princess yet I claim the most beautiful kingdom in all kingdoms of the earth it’s her heart where I nourish my soul. One morning it was all beautiful when I received a message tied with the feet of a fine white dove that came right sitting on my shoulder, after a while I realized it had a message for me, well I checked it and it was a call order from the kingdom of my love, how charming would it be when I realized I had to cross a dark forest and all those troubles she mentioned would come along the way, I with a strong heart never backed myself from her call. Eventually I gathered my troops started my journey early in the morning, as I was traveling storms of ugly thoughts were haunting me, yet my aim was clear and I was determined to reach when I was destined.

As the day passed it started to become hotter and hotter and I was drained and my thirst was raging, yet I was close to my lover’s palace. Finally I reached where my heart belonged. High walls a huge gate standing in front of me, I stood there and realized its time, yet not afraid willing to die for the cause I had travelled thousands of miles. She came to receive me took me to the high palace and hid me in a huge room with beautiful lights and lots of candles and there was a huge bed with silk and velvet beddings and everything seemed so beautiful, I on the other hand a simple crafts men who never had the experience of such wealth was so amassed that how glorious are kings and queens and how glorifying is the wealth that God almighty blesses them. Well as I was waiting for my princess to return to me, she came in her body was covered with the finest linen and every inch of her body was as it was a moving flower with petals of a dark red rose. What marvels you name seem so less as when you see the beauty of my princess. A long breath I took and she served me with the finest red wines of the kingdom; I quenched my thirst with it and was doped in her love. Every second that passed seemed like it was an eternity, yet the tornado was about to come. After hours of spending time together the palace gauds were about to change shifts and my princess was worried that I might get hurt so she prepared a meal for me before I leave her in the high palace walls, we spent time together made love like never before and had kept our vows travelled all across the palace keeping our silences and bathe in the cool blue waters of the high gardens of the palace. When it was time we shared our kisses and blessed each other with vows of protection and never letting go of each other, and then I went she guided me toward a secret passage leading me outside the palace without being caught by the guards. As I was walking my lips were vibrating so was my body every inch of my existence felt her presence around me, like she was protecting. What a day it was what I life I lived in just one day. They say kings and queens are chosen, I say I choose not to be a king yet lover to a queen.

Fools in Love

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Why do fools fall in love? And when we do fall, why do our faculties of reason–and decency and self-respect and even right and wrong–sometimes not come along? For that matter, why would anyone reciprocate the love of a partner who has come so romantically unhinged?

A lot of questions to be answered and yet none found helpful to the pain we have inside of us.

I sometimes am a fool for love, well most of the times, currently I am in love with the most decorative person I could have ever imagined of, she is strong and independent, most of my shopping list is created by her, all of my life I wore grey and black, she took me out of it, even though I am a student of Arts but she knows more about colors than I do, She is amassing when it comes to making choices, and I love being her fool, my imagination is what fantasizes her and so are my affections towards her. She is an alien when it comes to love, because it’s something that is not found in the books of this world, she does it in her own original way. She is a 100% original.

Sometimes she is desperate to make things better but as we live in a society full of idiots she gets depressed and well often loses control those days are rather living than dying because that’s when I get complete opportunity to cuddle her and stand by her side no matter what the consequences, I am being very honest my lover is a jealous one, she knows me more than I know myself she treats me like a queen mad in love for his king. Now that is what love is all I have ever dream’t about.

I have been in love before even engaged once, but every time that happened I was left under the dark clouds of depression and uncertainty. Yes that is exactly what happens when you make wrong choices in life and they lead you to a dead end. For me love is like living a God inside and when it’s not watered and taken care it is like a dead soul in a living body, a vacuum so huge that it cannot be filled so dark even the sun light seems less to fill it up.

Sometimes things don’t come along well, but yet if you find the right match it is what you want. And I have it all, because I don’t ask its already known and given, this is my wild imagination and she is the light that filled my heart when it was dark hallow and broken, she glued the walls of my broken heart and ensured it with her charm and protection, because she is my jealous lover. And I am dancing every moment as I live.

She is the decency and the re-creator of my existence. Extremist in love and Queen of hearts, truly mine all mine, and never letting me go type of thing.
Some days I think is she real or is she a part of my crazy imagination. Well that’s what makes me a fool in love for her. And it’s unchangeable and unconditional.

She is upset

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It was a time of need, a time of support, a time of encouragement, hence I am most occupied in confusion that I must have lead her to a new line a new way to understand, yet I failed once again, she was beautiful again like the days I had, like the finest blend of the finest wine I once had in my youth. And as the wind grew stronger so was her health and her youth, you never grew old in my eyes never sick in my thoughts; she was always refreshment to this stale lake of miseries. I stink of my miserable existence grew and grew, yet I was becoming a disappointment for her, how much more do I curse myself, how much more I treat myself this way for I am never going to win her heart, she claims me like I was born to be with her, but am I the one she always has believed for and wanting to share her house in the valleys of absolute silence surrounded with the vine yards of love and depths of heart touching mountains.

Oh my lord, yet I start to embrace her in my thoughts such stink of my wounds starts to disappear and a fragrance of her fragrant presence overtakes my miseries, such is her existence important to this soul of mine.

Summer oh summer why such heat melts me and drenches my heart. I shut myself into the scourging heat and then I was all in tears and bathing in my own sweat asking for mercy and forgiveness from the lord, why would He listen He would never listen because I caused stress into the mind of His most beloved, such is my love, affectionate and most beloved to my lord.

Why such hardness leaks us into the cause of pain, I am most considered sinner on the face of earth, yet I seek the desire of my love and yet I seek hers and hers alone desire, my heart ponds like a hammer striking a concrete wall.

I am restless and I am tiered, yet I await and am willing to sacrifice everything for the love I share with you. Nothing I mean nothing can separate us, for this I am very sure, unless it’s the kiss of death that departs me from you, and the laws of this unjust world go against my favor and endure my soul to rest in the endless fires of Hell.
Forgiveness is all I seek

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Where Thy Lovers…

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As the peace of my true existence seems so silent, as it is enduring me to be in a resting place where I am never wanting to be awake, and never to be upheld by the frequent faints of the past days when there were battles fought so hard and brutal. As I am walking down the road to the stage where my head be bantered and I be a display of jokes for others to laugh at and leave their remarks on this so fabulous dying sentence, as this cold frozen night seems so long and craving I see myself dying inside and blood in my veins freezing and I can feel the clots in my finger tips, tipsy I get as it was the first time I had a glass of wine and a blend of cigarette.
as this certain thought is hovering in my head I am neither happy nor sad on this fine line where I am so blunt and without a fear, that I call this thought Untitled and I am so dancing with the moves you make when you are just another soul with the thoughts that I be so glorious and guess there is no glory without being abducted by the fact that this life is just a granted opportunity to retaliate with the one that is after life.

What good there is, only that I or we are trying to be, well dear one there is this sadness we so endure to hide, thy lover never knew what is inside of this cold heart of ours as we seek not to be sold out of our miseries and yet we claim to be the ones to profound our selves with our own delighted richness,,,

Here it is then I stand ready to be beheaded and now as I am resting my head a crowd of thousands to witness this theater of reality no loved ones to witness unknown faces making a loud noise that is so untitled where thy lovers are thy claim to be my friends my mates my everything and non is there, and then the time comes he with his strong arms holding the axe and this moment freezes and time is so silent and slow as like a mastery playing Villon with such intensity that the sharp blade when it touches my skin it is chipping through my bones and all the way making a fine cut.
blood flows onto the feet of the slayer and hens the end of the tale I so called Untitled.