Imaginations leading to predictions undefined….

Ever since I lost hold of the things that once were so close to me, as like if it was a star falling down on earth breaking the horizon line, so was I lost and suddenly found by non but self. Tried to keep a hold of myself not even sure if I was scared, like a star moving away. Kept on imagining even though I was told never to look back with no regret but still I kept on looking back when I told myself that there was no hope like it was a small world I was living in, and then things started to happen different as I saw my shadow on distance asking let me be granted with a scar what an imagination leading me to nowhere keeping things short often lead us to something defined only to us, for what has done wrong by the ones that we care and love so much more.
In the wildest of my dreams I listened only to screams, I don’t know how to tell her how to feel, maybe it’s time to move on, it’s like there is no one in the heart, I want to move somewhere else, an illusion illuminating every bit of what was holding me together, kept on telling me to clear things out, all those shitty acts that were just a commitment to what was made once, for sure it was love only for a friend, embarrassed not for what happened for only that it was me that was being a help. On every step I took I was more than a friend, loved like none that I have ever loved, cared more than I had to, maybe I was kept wrong. There is heaven and yes there is God, on earth was a soul that kept on scaring me like never before, not for what it was but it was an unusual case I made an agreement to.
It begins in the summer days, few friends disputing over one soul, hurt and lost was that person, maybe I invited myself uninvited and led into a new direction as I was some sort of counselor. I don’t know how people pretend that they are the only ones that know love is only known to them. Makes me laugh often when I was always reminded by a dear friend of mine “ so you know what love is” and I always kept on giving my own perspectives, and he kept on laughing and making fun of me and always helping me to understand that it’s a both way, “ you can’t love if it’s just one sided”.
As time passed things started to happen different they used to be, even at the end of the no matter how smart or how unusual I can be I am still a man with a heart, and its beating, responses cause my heart to beat different in different scenarios, maybe she forgot that I was just a friend, maybe she left herself unconscious and lead to an unknown direction, kept on telling me the thoughts that roughed her head and raged her up with anger, and me just a silent listener as if my whole concentration was towards the case I was dealing with.
I was ready for the rain to pour down on me, most of all I was ready for every consequence I was to be offered, it’s a hard business when you are in the counselors seat, most certainly when you tell people that alright you’re ready to see yourself, and that’s the time when they start screaming at you, and forget every bit of what had been done, and that’s the hardest part, a person like me who has anger issues and I don’t know when it came from maybe I was just not holding on to the position I was. And that is what needs to be understand that when you’re on a seat stick to the agreement’s you make, honestly it ruins the case you’re dealing with along with your reputation.
And after all what was happened, I was under water and I was breathing fine, and she was crazy and I was all breathing fine, cause I gave all of me, and still I was breathing. How many times I have to tell even when your crying your looking beautiful, like a muse in a forest, beautiful and elegant in all that I could speak of, all those curves and edges of that mind it was all beautiful to know, hustled in the rusted gossips that everyone could have ever offered, silenced and kept on listening, and then the raging volcano outraged and anger rushed like it was tsunami and it ruined the end and the beginning, even when I was winning or losing. And hens it ended in a disaster and now it’s just a vacant thought of the past, a lesson learned well, never leave the seat stick to it, it’s hard to be a good listener when you’re working on both ends…

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