Desire

Why sadness overwhelms my heart with aggression I am a mad man with storming fears of not dying, why then death kisses me everyday leaving a lust inside of me to quench more of this thirst I hold inside of me. Tears flow heart rages but what is it that is holding me from not committing to what they say is sin, is it a sin to lust for eternity why so then they cry out to us. This life we have such a short time such miseries such suffering and in all that we try so hard not to feel small but this thought of being alone is over my head and I am extremely lost, what then am I up to, every second as I am stepping close to the edge I can’t take this desperation of being apart from you, love is taking a new measure a measure that is uncountable and it’s just leading me to nowhere, even though I am happy but happiness id like a blooming flower it only blooms when am with her only then am alive why then am not alive when the rising sun of my life is not close to me.

Is there something on my mind, then why am I being drowned in this ocean of tears, a bloody blessing is what the heists of this world say it is, but if it is so then why can’t I shore myself on the sunny beaches of peace and happiness. Every time I see the sun I am hopeful why then when night falls everything seems so low and life less, why am I not in my lovers arms, why is my lust for her love is raging to a point when I might crash into so much pain and misery, I am crying loud but no one is out there to hear out my cries, it’s unfair its brutal yet it is love.

I am a shepherd without a heard of sheep, who am I leading, forgotten that it’s me who is leading myself where though, yet I am in a disbelieve of my own thoughts, a vengeance against my own existence why then I am leading alone on a pathway of sand, every time I look back with a hope if my foot steps are keeping a track of how far I have walked, yet this sand is rubbing the tracks of my existence and I am left with a belief that I am alone, yet I am leading myself. What a misery what a belief, yet hard to believe its love.

Have you loved once twice or maybe more, but what is it that keeps us moving, it’s a hard question to understand and answer, there have been many that claim to answer and understand, did they really felt the blessing of being a lover, maybe yes maybe not, what is it then that drives us to do more then what we hold inside of us, I say its unconditional simply it can’t be answered why I love you so much, I just love you.

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