Nothingness

It was dark and silent, the face of those hills I once embraced my sadness into happiness, why today it were like they were praying for the rain to fall, like they were crying into those shattered sentences of life taking fears.

How hard it is for us to understand that we can pledge our lives with others and when others forget that there is something that we are missing and we need to understand that yet we exist. I cant express what i am going through like am some kind of tree with no voice with just a still posture the only posture I present to my seeker is only when the seasons change, only then if he is there he sees how painful and how beautiful these seasons can be, a year and only four recalls of my love express my existence to you. There was a time when I stood by you and your replies with the chattering sounds of your leaves, why then you tell me everything before even I say so, why then you speak it out when the season is far away, why do you know so much of my heart, I just stood there looking into your eyes, those harsh scars those tears those thick ones that wont melt even if the fires are melting hot. Its just your words says she that enchant me when I am desperate its your words that embrace me and make me mad in love its just you. What is it that you cant understand why are you so young why not grow up and be the guide light of my life. I am just standing there as she is just shouting at me with those words with those feelings, am feeling so small and its over my head and its nothing at all, and I stumble and fall and I am still learning to love and starting to crawl, why can I not turn away from the hills from the tree from the clouds from the valley waters, its all you its all you I see and all that I understand.

My goodness is when I ate all of my pride and died to myself, some words feel just words when I am just not being a commitment to who I am to you. I am standing there kill me with your grace and kindness and your love.

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